Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
