I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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