Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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