"it" just moved
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to calm my uterus...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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