She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
