I wish my penis had an off switch
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
