We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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