Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
