you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
