well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
