I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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