Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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