have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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