do herpes really smell.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
