why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
