honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
