i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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