I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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