That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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