Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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