I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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