He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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