Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
