Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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