Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she peed on how many people?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
