Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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