How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
