Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
