porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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