I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
