You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
