this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
