Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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