dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
