I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
