I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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