thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
