What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
