Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
