Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Two words: nipple clamps
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