Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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