new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
