Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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