I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
