we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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