when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my liver is dry heaving
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
