Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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