dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
