just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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