Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
