Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
